Sunset/Sunrise

The summer sun that I despise so much is about to set at last. It's the moment I wait for every summer and yet I don't wish to see this summer leave me. And there's one reason why I don't want this summer to end. That reason is that I've finally met all of my cousins, with the exception of one. It was a breath of fresh air to meet them, to get to know them, to finally be able to love them for all that they are. They went home yesterday morning and if I hadn't had to go to work, I would have cried so hard. But for every sunset, there is sure to be a sunrise.

Classes/labs are starting on Monday and while I'm not necessarily looking forward to being stressed out on a daily basis or having to attend classes/labs, I am grateful for the routine and structure that classes/labs will provide. I have a feeling that this semester, and the entire academic year, will be very different from the past two years. And I haven't yet ascertained whether or not the difference will be relatively positive or relatively negatively. I guess I have to wait for the sunrise on Monday to really know what it's going to be like this year.

Birthday Reflection

I turned 18 years old on April 13th. The way I spent my 18th birthday was so different from all of the rest of my birthdays as far as I can remember anyway. I mean, I definitely did some special things for previous birthdays, but my 18th birthday was different. It was the first birthday that I didn't spend all day, or even most of the day, with my family. 

On Saturday, instead of going out to eat for my birthday or being with my family for the majority of the day, I was at the FBLA State Conference. Quite honestly, I was happy for the change of experience. I love my family so very much, but it was just a nice change of pace to spend most of my birthday with other people besides them. (I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.) I really felt like an adult on Saturday. 

So, I'm going to run through my Saturday with what I can remember. I might put some events in the wrong order, but I'll do my best to not do that. So, I woke up early on Saturday to get ready for the conference. I got to the Hyatt a little bit before 8 and basically freaked out because I thought my event was early in the morning. Eventually, after roaming around for 10 minutes or so, I found Mrs. Woodward and all was well. Although, I did spam Casey's phone quite successfully while I was in my panicked state. I hung out around Mrs. Woodward until the crew arrived. Then we pretty much just explored the hotel a little bit. We found a piano, but I didn't get the chance to "play" it. Caleb went off for his event. We roamed around some more, Casey went for her event, then a group of us sat down to listen to one of the leadership presentations. It was rather boring to be honest. The people next door to us were having a good time though, but that room was packed! Got out of the leadership presenation and walked around some more with Jordan and Caroline. We stumbled upon Mrs. Strosnider and Cassy, who was practicing for her event. Stood around and chatted some more until Caroline and I went for our events. Coincidentally, Cristian was at the conference too so he approached me and said Happy Birthday, which was sweet. Caroline and I came back from our event. She left for lunch and I probably just talked and walked around with some people after that until Jordan left for his event and came back. Caleb got pretty obsessed with the raffle during that time, haha. When he finished up, the four of us (Casey, Jordan, Caleb, and I) ventured half a mile to Five Guys and half a mile back to the hotel. It was unbelievably nice to walk to Five Guys and back. After coming back to the hotel, we found out that Cassy hadn't gone yet. We had our ice cream social at three. (I didn't have any ice cream though! They all sang Happy Birthday to me though, which was embarrassing and sweet at the same time!) By that time, Cassy had gone in to do her event and finished up fairly quickly. Kayla, Meagan, Casey and I were hanging out outside and chatting. Then we all went down to Panera. Angela and VP Jordan joined us later. We blew two hours just sitting there in Panera talking, lazing around, and playing games on Cassy's iPad. I finally decided that I had enough of sitting around and doing nothing so I successfully dragged Meagan, Casey, VP Jordan, and Cassy to explore the shops around the hotel. We went to the Apple Store first. After that, we went to Paper Source, courtesy of myself. Then we waltzed into a Thai restaurant for dinner where Casey and I shared dinner. I think it was Meagan's first time having Thai food. Cassy fell in love with the mango ice cream. We got back to the hotel and ventured into the Panera (all of us except for Meagan, I believe) to go and sit with Caleb, Jordan, and Caroline, who all had such a good time to bond that it made me jealous. I just wanted those three to love me, haha. We sat in there and talked until it was time for us to go upstairs for the awards ceremony. Beginning of the awards ceremony consisted of blasting music for a good 10-15 minutes at least. At one point, Cassy stood up and started dancing, which caught the attention of so many people that she went out into the aisle with two other people (one guy and one girl) and the three of them just danced. It was crazy and hilarious. It took forever to get through all of it and we all got pretty restless. Five of us managed to place for states. Cassy took 5th in her event, Casey took 4th in hers, Jordan took 3rd in his, Kayla and Meagan took 2nd in theirs, and I somehow grasped 1st in my own. 

I was really shocked to have won first. My heart was pounding as I listened for my name to be called to the holding area. I went up on stage with four other people. The lights were so blinding and I couldn't see far out into the audience for my crew. I listened intently as the names were called. It finally came down to second and first place. When my name wasn't called for second, I sort of stood there in disbelief with a dumbfounded expression. I couldn't believe that I actually took first. For the first time in my life, I had won something and it wasn't just an individual accomplishment. It was recognition for Sherando too. I was so happy. 

The State Conference really did turn out to be such a great way to spend my birthday. I'm so fortunate to have had the chance to attend. I hope more underclassmen join up in FBLA and compete in events. If I can win something, then there is no doubt that they can work hard and win too. (Although, I didn't really work hard. I barely studied for both tests and still managed it. I guess I have more school smarts and common sense than I give myself credit for.) I felt so confident on my birthday while I was at the conference. Yes, I did worry about the way I looked a couple of times, but it was so fleeting. I was glowing with excitement and self-approval way before the awards ceremony. I just felt so free. It was nice to spend time with people that I'm not usually with. It was really nice. 

After everything was all over, my brother, Shaun, picked me up and drove to our brother's (Rehaan) house; Aisha was already there. I received birthday flowers, two birthday cards (one from Shaun and one that was probably purchased by Aisha but signed by everyone), and lots of love. We did the cake even though it was late. I knew that they used a trick candle because I saw it spark. It was pretty funny. We all had cake, except for Farah. Aisha had bought me some cheesecake from Whole Foods or wherever and I ate half of that too. I ate pretty poorly on my birthday, but still had a fantastic day overall. I was pretty happy.

Labor Day Weekend

I had a fairly nice weekend. I went to my brother's (Rehaan) house on Friday night. Nothing too special happened on Friday night, except for having spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. I spent my Saturday doing nothing of particular interest or fun until the afternoon and the evening. My sister-in-law, Farah, and I watched some Ugly Betty together. Love that show! We met my sister, Aisha, at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner; it was my first time going there. After that, my sister and I went to Macy's where I got my first pair of Levi's; I actually got 3 pairs of high rise Levi's and they feel incredible. On Sunday, we (my dad, my brother, my sister-in-law, my sister, and I) went to ISNA. The bazaar was insane. Muslims are crazy, or rather "Muslims be crazy" (thanks Deepak). I rode the metro for the very first time and it made me think of 5 Centimeters Per Second. Back at my brother's house that night, Farah, Aisha, and I watched Ugly Betty and The Princess Bride. And that takes us to today, which was somewhat fun since I met up with Lauren and Kasey. 

That's my brief explanation of my weekend. It went better than I expected. 

An Eventful Weekend

Yes, I'm going to blab about my weekend. I'm too lazy to split up the days so this will be a pretty lengthy post. I'd also like to mention that I'm not writing this post at my own house. I'm at my father's friend's house right now since our Internet isn't working so I find this situation hilarious. Anyway, time to talk about my weekend. 

On Friday, my father and I left home to go to my eldest brother's house. As usual, we stopped by and ate at a Desi restaurant then headed over to my brother's house. I was dropped off at my brother's house. Shortly after, my sister came over. We ate dinner together. Our father showed up earlier than we thought he would. Not too long after he arrived, my brother's wife arrived at home as well. We all just kind of sat around and had some slight conversation. And then the storm came...the wind was extremely powerful. It made the house shake. I have to admit that I was afraid in the short amount of time that the wind was acting up. Fortunately for us, power didn't go out so YAY!

Saturday was the most eventful day of the entire weekend. My brother's in-laws came over since the power was out. Well, it was really only just his mother-in-law, brother-in-law, niece, and nephew who came over. A little bit after 3, we (my brother, my father, and I) went to Romana's house. Romana roomed with my sister in college so my family is fairly close to her. There were other people there as well. At the time that we showed up at, there were only girls there. I'm pretty sure that most of them, if not all of them, are Bengali, like Romana. So these Bengali people were talking about their two names and I muttered to Romana something along the lines of, "Pakistanis don't understand the two names thing." I meant that jokingly of course. All joking aside, Bengali people are really awesome. Seriously, they're really awesome.

After visiting Romana and eating some good food, we (my brother, my father, and I) went back to my brother's house to get ready for the wedding of a family friend's daughter. Her name is Amna. I realized on Saturday that I really love weddings, but I also really hate them. I love weddings because of the speeches, the food, the Desi music, and the fun. I hate weddings because I have to get dressed up and that annoys me. Sometimes, weddings can be really awkward too. I enjoyed Amna's wedding though. She married a Bengali guy, which I think is really funny and cute...don't ask me to explain that. I actually cried at her wedding during her brother's speech. I couldn't help it, it was so heartfelt. Although, while the earlier speeches were happening, my sister was making jokes and my brother, his wife, and I were laughing because of them. Weddings are always fun when I have my family with me. Going to weddings makes me want to get married and I have no clue why that is...

We arrived home before 12. I think we all went to sleep before 1. I was pretty tired after the wedding. I spent Sunday afternoon hanging out with my sister, my brother, his wife, and Ayyoob, my brother's nephew. (He wouldn't be considered my nephew, right?) It was an entertaining afternoon. I'm getting lazy now so I don't really feel like expanding on any of this. Ayyoob is cute. That's all you need to know.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention one of my highlights of the weekend. I had a nice chat with my brother's mother-in-law on Saturday before we left for the wedding. I got asked about my future. I told her that it's easy for me to just say that I want to be a doctor and that I don't even know where I want to go for college. I told her about what society expects from me since I'm Desi. She said it's different back home in India and Pakistan and that there are really only two career options: doctor or engineer. She spoke of how America is so different, how there are so many different options. The thing is that I'm not interested in much. Teaching is a definite no for me. Law is a no. You'd never catch me in politics. And I can't see myself as a writer. She told me that it's strictly my decision to decide where to go for college and what kind of a career I want to pursue. I guess that's where the problem sets in. I just don't know what I want. Some people have an idea of what they want and some people are indecisive like me. This is why I don't like planning for the future. 

I'm pretty sure I've forgotten to mention something important, but oh well. As you can see, my thoughts are scattered and don't flow too well. Not to mention, I'm far too lazy to say anything more in regards to how this Sunday has gone. Bye for now.

Stuff

It's been a few days since I've shared so I guess I'll scrape together some stuff to say now. Summer is boring and fun like it always has been. There have been fun days and boring days. I don't know how I ever got through the previous summer. Summer feels like it'll never end, but I know that time will start passing quickly now that I've said that.

Alley and Taylor came over on Tuesday and Thursday. On Tuesday, we watched some Nabari no Ou and part of Mulan. On Thursday, they brought some video games just to show me what they were. We finished Mulan, chatted, and lazed around. I felt kind of bad because I'm extremely boring. 

SAT scores came back. True to my feeling, I did improve, but only by the slightest bit. I just keep wasting money. I'm not expecting anything great to come out of my third try, but it would be nice to not feel like such an incompetent fool. In addition to SAT scores, report cards came too. My GPA is finally what I've wanted it to be, but I suspect that's only because I was enrolled in four classes for my junior year. I need to maintain my GPA, it's all I have going for me. What's so great about having a high GPA though? Why do I feel like I need it? Did I want it for me or to impress someone else? 

Anyway, I've started to talk to a few of my cousins again, via Skype and Yahoo Messenger. I stayed up until almost two in the morning chatting with them. I went over to my aunt's house yesterday and today. I absolutely love her cooking. While I was at my aunt's house today, I realized something: I don't like curry; the little person inside my head laughed at that thought because the only reason I remembered that little fact was because my aunt had made curry. After eating, I went upstairs with Rabia and we played Uno. Usama came in and every now and then to talk. I found humor in a lot of what he said so I started laughing. He finally noticed that I laugh very easily. Sumyya came in after a while and turned on the TV. We (Sumyya, Rabia, and I) ended up watching almost two episodes of How I Met Your Mother. It's a funny show. 

I'd like to add that I've been on Netflix quite a bit...and I started watching Pretty Little Liars not too long ago. Don't judge. I just like the drama and ridiculousness of it all, plus it's kind of interesting to me. Basically, I'm trying to make it sound like I don't really like it when I actually do. Don't be disappointed in me, pleaseeee. In addition to that, I started watching Avatar: The Last Airbender today. I should have watched that show when my cousin told me to, he was right about it being a good show. I've been on Netflix way too much, but I can't help it. It's all I feel like doing to pass the time. I think that's why I'm getting dumber...okay, I'm done for now. Later!

Houses

So yesterday was officially my first BBQ of the year. It was at my brother's house and it was only close family. I have to say that it was a great time. The food was good, as expected. My sister made chocolate covered bananas and strawberries (or as my father pronounces it: stawberries; where the 'r' goes, I have no idea), which actually turned out nicely. I only tried the choco bananas though; it was too much chocolate but still a creative idea. 

My brother's house is really gorgeous. I think it's a pretty big house. I mean it's bigger than the house I've grown up in and currently live in, not to mention that it's in much better condition because it's new! The living room area is nicely furnished and everything matches so well. A lot of the furniture is different shades of brown and tan. Not to mention, there's a really big TV, which Farah (my brother's wife) is quite proud of; HD TV man, I'm just not used to it. The master bedroom is huge; there's two closets, a bathroom, a huge bed (of course), and plenty of space to roll around. There's two other bedrooms upstairs, one is blue themed. The other one, which I got to sleep in, was green; I felt kind of bad for sleeping there because it all looked so neat and lovely, I just didn't want to mess up the way it looked. There's a computer room and a hall bathroom upstairs too. There's a huge bookcase thing in the basement that I really love. Someday, I'd like to have that much space for books. There's a lot of mint outside in the back and it tastes amazing. I haven't decided if it tastes better than the mint we have growing at home. Not much of a backyard, but still enough space for my brother's niece and nephew to run freely in, if they so choose. This is all kind of irrelevant information, but I figured that I should at least try to describe the house. I'll take pictures and just show what it looks like instead of trying to describe it. 

We were watching House Hunters earlier today. People are extremely picky with the house that they want to buy. I don't understand why when all houses seem to look so nice, not to mention that these houses were worth over a million! Crazy people! I guess I won't understand until I have to buy a house...well, if I ever buy a house that is. I don't know what the future holds in store for me. I might just end up mooching off of Casey. In fact, that's the plan. She'll get married to a rich guy, live in a nice house, and pay my medical expenses. We've honestly planned out our future like that, to the point where it could very well stop being a joke and become reality. It'll work out perfectly.

It Feels the Same

I went to visit some family (my aunt, my uncle, and three of my cousins) today. After arriving, everything felt wrong. Everything felt different almost as if everything had changed. I'm not wrong though. So much has changed and yet it feels the same. 

Lots of changes have taken place since the last time I saw these specific members of my family. My uncle had a medical issue come up recently; I was so afraid when I heard. My aunt's hair is finally turning gray. My cousins are all older now. Rabia, the youngest of the three, and Usama, the middle of the three, have braces. Sumyya will be getting braces soon. I realized that while they have gotten older, their personalities have remained solid. They haven't changed much at all, and that's saying a lot especially since I haven't seen them in a long time. Some of my cousins in New York seem to have changed when I go see them after a long time, but that's not the case with my three Virginia cousins. 

My Virginia cousins, as I'll call them now, haven't changed personalities too much. They still make me laugh just as much as they always have. They still teach me all sorts of new things. And they always have plenty of stories to tell. I've learned that soil is not cake so there's no reason to know how many layers there are, courtesy of Usama. Sumyya and Usama shared how they get free things when they're away for college. And they also informed me of a story in which a husband was snapping pictures while his wife was getting attacked by an animal, or animals, at a petting zoo. Oh, and I've also learned some of the delicacies that some countries have...it's pretty disgusting stuff so I'll spare you the horror. 

Initially, when I walked in and sat down, it felt different. It took a little bit of time before I felt the same as I had when I was a child. That warm feeling that I've always felt before hasn't left. It's always going to be there, in that house, for as long as they continue to live there. I never want to lose that feeling. The feeling of belonging, of love, of warmth and familiarity. No matter how many years pass or how much we grow, that feeling will always remain.

Note: This post was meant for May 19th, 2012. I kind of came back late from their house so this is why it's so late.