Life Among The Stars

Call me what you will, but I believe in aliens. No, I don't have some crazy story to spin for you. It's just a simple belief, a small sliver of hope that I hold onto. I think it's arrogant and ignorant for humans to assume that we are all that exists in the universe. I will never stop believing in all of the possibilities that exist out there. There is intelligent life out there. We are not alone.

Sometimes I wonder if there is some alien civilization that is out there watching the human race. I've thought to myself, they can see us, but we can't see them. I've wondered why they won't reach out to us. And I ultimately came to the conclusion that they might be horrified by some of our actions, how easily we are willing to kill and hurt each other without remorse. In that same note, there must be some civilization that thinks we're funny creatures because we have emotions, because we can feel. After all, we are very odd beings.

Every now and then, I toss my hopes to the starlit night and wish for some kind of a sign, for some contact. Then I smile sadly to myself and remember that contact probably won't occur in my lifetime, but someday far out there it will. And these words of mine won't sound so bizarre. Someday.

3 Idiots

3 Idiots. One of the greatest Bollywood movies I have ever seen in my life. And now, it's become my favorite. THANKS AARTI! Before I started watching the movie, I just thought it was going to be one of those silly comedy flicks, but I was wrong. I was so very wrong. It was so much more than that. Not to mention, the music was absolutely gorgeous.

3 Idiots has a lot of different themes and as much as I'd love to focus on just one of the themes, I can't. I'll start with the most obvious one though: friendship/love. I think people sometimes forget that one of the most beautiful forms of love exists in friendship hence why I put a slash between the two. Anyway, the portrayal of friendship and love was so beautiful and moving. Rancho, Raju, and Farhan end up in the same room at the Imperial College of Engineering (ICE) and become fast friends. It is really hard to put all of my feelings into why I love their friendship/bromance. Simply put, they are always there for each other. Even though Rancho is at the top of the class, he doesn't put himself above Raju and Farhan. Raju and Farhan accept Rancho for the eccentric, free spirit that he is. When Raju's father goes into cardiac arrest and an ambulance can't reach there quick enough, it is Rancho who rushes him to the hospital, ultimately saving the life of Raju's father. And when Raju tearfully thanks Rancho, it's just so beautiful. I cried. When Raju is threatened with expulsion if he doesn't pin a drunk (and rather funny) incident on Racho, he refuses and instead goes to an extreme. That extreme measure puts Raju in a coma and in the hospital. Faithfully as ever though, Rancho and Farhan are there. Rancho is even able to finally convince Farhan to go to his parents and tell them that he doesn't want to be an engineer, but a wildlife photographer. The friendship that these three share is overwhelmingly powerful. Understand that Farhan and Raju never would have changed had it not been for Rancho. They needed him as much as he needed them. Real friends, true friends, they love you for who you are, no matter how strange. They inspire you and encourage you. They make you laugh and cry. And they are always there for you. At the core of all everlasting and meaningful friendships is love.

One of the other prominent themes in 3 Idiots is success. Rancho believes that one should follow excellence rather than success. Success will take care of itself. "Follow excellence, success will chase you, pants down." In the same line of success is what we dream of being in the future, what we want as a future career. In both Indian and Pakistani culture, science is highly valued and rightfully so. But even so, becoming an engineer or a doctor isn't all that exists out there. In the movie, Rancho tells Farhan that he will regret not taking the chance to become a wildlife photgrapher while he still has the opportunity to do so. At ICE, the students are made to believe that life is a race. Rancho being who he is doesn't believe that. He makes a point of how the education system at ICE is broken and places too much pressure on students. And quite honestly, that same thought can probably be applied to education systems put in place today, all over the world. We live our lives thinking that we've got to be number one. And all we seem to do is memorize. Rancho knows that isn't right and I do too. Life isn't a race so stop treating it like one. You don't have to be number one to be successful or content as seen with Farhan and Raju. And even if you are number one, be the right kind of number one. Be the person that loves to learn for the sake of increasing your own knowledge. Be the person that wants to learn and apply what you learn when you can. Be the student that earns the astronaut pen of excellence. 

The whole movie is just so inspiring, especially after you discover the truth about Rancho. It really teaches you a lot about life and even about yourself. I will forewarn you and say that it is a movie of feelings. Lots of feelings. It was so moving that I cried and laughed and smiled. I stared at the screen intently, waiting to see what would happen next to the three idiots. I can honestly say that watching 3 Idiots was worth approximately 3 hours. It's a movie that everyone should watch. I'm certain that everyone can take away something from the movie.

I will now leave you with one of the songs from 3 Idiots with a link to the English translation. And if anyone is interested in watching the movie, send a message my way. Enjoy!

http://lyricstranslate.com/en/behti-hawa-sa-tha-woh-be-flowing-wind.html

"Standing in the hall of fame, and the world's gonna know your name"

 

This is my obligatory graduation post, and I'm writing it two days after the fact. I was thinking about not writing one since I've blogged so much about what I anticipated my feelings for graduation would be, but it's time to say how it really felt.

I hitched a ride on graduation morning with Megan and Lauren, we picked up Kasey on our way to school. I made some comment to Megan about how it would be her last time turning into Sherando as a student. Anyway, we got to school with some free time to kill, which was spent talking and goofing off. We were slowly herded into the auditorium for some short speeches from staff (teachers, Mr. Nelson, Mr. Smith). And then we stood up to go on our final walk as students: the senior walk. The hallways were beautiful. All of the hard work showed through so brilliantly. We went through it rather quickly though. After that, we marched outside and down the steps towards the field with Pomp and Circumstance playing in the background. We walked through the two rows of teachers and to our seats. The ceremony was brief; Aarti and Christina's speeches went well. Names were called off at a rapid pace. The Warrior came out onto the field and then caps were flung into the air. 

In my opinion, it all went by too fast. I still don't even know how I'm supposed to feel. I know that I should feel overjoyed or full of sadness, but I honestly didn't feel either one right after. I mean, I'm glad that I've graduated high school and a bit sad at the same time, but nothing has changed yet. I always thought that I'd be an emotional wreck on graduation day, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Although, a few tears fell down my face when Lacy spoke in honor of Tray. How could I have possibly held back? He would have sat to my right. Anyway, it all passed too quickly for me to feel anything. Well, I did feel regret, but it was about silly and trivial matters. If I had to choose my favorite part of graduation, I think it would probably be when the Warrior came out onto the field while the perfect music was playing in the background and Mr. Nelson was saying the traditional final remarks. Somethin' like "may you soar high with the eagles." I love that. I love being a Warrior. Best mascot ever.

Now, I want to explain the song. It's kind of a big part of what I want to say to my fellow Class of 2013 Warriors, and really to all Class of 2013 graduates. When I hear "standing in the hall of fame," it reminds me of our fast paced senior walk, our handprints. With those handprints, we'll be in the "hall of fame" for at least a good 10 years. The memories of those halls aren't lost to us yet. As for the part "and the world's gonna know your name," I think it's self-explanatory. It's what I hope for my fellow graduates, that world will know our names for the Warriors that we are and always will be. All of us have the potential to be in a bigger "hall of fame" as long as we remember to strive for it. I wish my fellow Warriors all the best in the world: the utmost happiness, success, love, and struggles to remind you that you are a Warrior for a reason. Heh, Sherando isn't really a glamorous place, but it's become home for so many of us. It's where we matured, where we found ourselves, where we lost ourselves, where we made lifelong friends, where we struggled, and where we grew. Once a Warrior, always a Warrior. Don't forget my friends, "you can be a champion." And no matter where we end up Class of 2013, let's stay in touch. CONGRATULATIONS! I LOVE YOU, ALL!

[I ramble a lot. I don't think I can convey my feelings accurately and properly, but maybe the song will help out. Also, know that when I say "a bigger hall of fame," I don't necessarily mean fame and money and all of the jewels in the world. There's a hall of fame much better and more rewarding than that, and that's the one that I'm going to strive to be a part of. Being in that hall of fame means changing the world for the better or being a kid's hero, something of that nature. A permanent hall of fame.]

One Last Ride

I rode the bus to school this morning. It's something I haven't done all year until now since I usually get a ride from Liz, Matthew, or Paul. As I stood in the driveway this morning, I thought back to the moment when I realized that I would never ride the bus to Aylor again. I waited in anticipation that morning, probably excited but nervous too. And so, this morning, I felt a similar pang of sadness. It was my last morning bus ride with Earl (the bus driver of 212) ever. 

On my final morning ride to Sherando on bus 212, I listened to music. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the past few years. The years I spent with Elizabeth, Matthew, and Paul. The bus rides had kept us together for years. The four of us became friends back in fourth grade. Now, eight years have passed, and we're parting ways. Last year, we talked about going to New York during the summer after senior year or in our first years of college. It started off as a joke by Paul, I think. The more I've thought about it though, the more I've wanted us to do it. Just one road trip together. 

The four of us loved riding the bus together. It was rare if one of us was ever alone. I think that's one of the things I'll miss the most. We all got along just fine if one of us wasn't there, but we had much more fun when we were all together. My bus group. It's the longest living group I've ever been a part of. The only group that has withstood summers and time apart. And I don't think it will fade so quickly. We still have one last ride to go on together.

A Letter From My Junior Self

Well, this is going to be extremely embarrassing for me, but oh well. So, I wrote a letter to myself last year towards the end of my junior year. And now, it's time for me to see what happened. Oh, you're invited to read this as well, even though it's majorly embarrassing. Comments from current me will be in this color. Let's get to it!

Dear Fawzia, 

Hello there, how are you? (Hi! I'm doing just fine! Really chipper for no reason, actually!) This is a message from you that dates back to the end of your junior year. (Dude, guess what? You're a senior now and graduating!) You’re sitting here typing this because of Deepak (Tomy) De’s blog post about the letter he wrote to himself during freshman year; he received that letter recently as he is graduating now. (I remember reading that blog post! Lovely post by the way! Deepak, you finished your first year at UVA! Yay!) You regret the fact that Mrs. Hott did not have you write a letter to your future self so you’ve decided to write one on your own, even though you will be graduating in a year’s time. (Yeah, I really wish my class had gotten the chance to write letters to ourselves. It should be a requirement. I think it's important for us to see how much we've grown.) This will more than likely be a long letter, mostly rambling and full of emotions and stuff. It’s time to switch to first person now, but I’ll probably switch back to second person at times.(I probably screwed up with the whole first person and second person thing. Meh, can't be bothered about it now!)

It is past 12 in the morning on June 3^rd, 2012. I was just with Alley, Taylor, Cristian, Cali, and DeAndre a couple of hours ago. (I remember that night. Alley finally celebrated her birthday. It was a fun night. We played video games and made some really ridiculous jokes. Also, apple pie.) Then I came home and saw an interesting blog post, which I mentioned briefly in the previous paragraph. I don’t really know what to say to myself. I guess I’m supposed to say what I hope to become in the future. I’ll mention some friends throughout this letter to myself and in a year’s time, I’ll get to see how much things have changed. I’ll speak of the changes that have occurred. 

This entire paragraph is about what I hope I have been able to become or what I hope I continue to do or change and other things of that nature. Future self, I hope you are confident now. (Sorry junior me, I'm still not all that confident. I'm still trying to be.) I hope you aren’t self-destructive anymore. I hope you have stopped degrading yourself. (I think the self-destructiveness comes and goes. And by self-destructiveness, I mean it in a psychological and emotional sense, not a physical one. Again, still working on that. I think I've become just a little bit stronger though.) I hope you realize that you have a purpose and that just maybe you’ve changed people or helped them in some way. (You know, I don't really know anymore. Sometimes, I feel like I have a purpose. Other times, I can't help but wonder what I am doing here. As for helping people, I hope I've been able to do that.) I hope you don’t procrastinate as much anymore. (HAHAHAHA, that is the best joke ever. Nope, you still procrastinate, loser!) I hope you’ve become smarter and have a larger vocabulary. I hope you’ve continued reading books and have a much better vocabulary now. (Eeek, I'm sorry! I'll work on that vocabulary this summer!) I hope you still love your family and friends unconditionally as you do now. (Don't worry junior me, you're still a sap. Always have been and always will be.) I hope you never lose your faith, even though you aren’t as religious as you know you should be. (You still got it, but need to be better.) I hope you experience all sorts of things and that you find some way to learn and grow from those experiences. (Two words: FBLA Nationals!) I hope you continue to make friends. (Funny how you always think you'll never make friends, but you did. Funny how I'm sitting here going back and forth about how my friend making ability at SU will be.) I hope you continue to be capable of feeling different emotions, instead of just wanting to be happy every second. I hope you continue to have those moments when you can’t feel anything at all. (Still feel sad, annoyed, and even without a care in the world. You didn't turn into a mindless bubbly happy robot, good work.)  I hope your medication has decreased by now and that you’re able to take it with water instead of applesauce. (I'm pretty awesome, because this actually came true! You did it!) I hope you still have a social life. (It's still there, on and off at times, but still there. It will be in full swing after graduation. So many parties.) I hope you’ve accepted the heart you were transplanted with on October 20^th, 2011 as your own now. (I think I have. But I still, unfortunately, have moments of feeling unworthy and undeserving. They don't occur often so don't worry. I always talk about how I'm living two lives, but I wonder if I even am. I still have to write to her family.)

Now, I’m going to blab about my friends or people that I know of and care about. The people you really care about or consider to be good friends or close friends are as follows: Alley, Taylor, Cristian, Cali, DeAndre, Gee, Casey, Deepak (Tomy), Andy (male), Mikayla, Brittany, Libby, Sarah, Andy (female), Kaylee, Kasey, Cassy, Loganne, Jordan, Marie, Ashley L, Aarti, Ashley D, Lauren, Tianhui, Megan, Claire, Paul, Matthew, Elizabeth, Everly, Maddie, Callie, Julia, Chris, Hubert, Haley, Baylen, Alexa, Addison, Mari, Beth, Zach (squiggles), Kaira, Zach, Sidney, Morgan…and I’m sure there’s plenty more. I guess Sarah doesn’t quite belong in that list since she’s not at Sherando, but I’ll just keep her there. I didn’t put Anh or Andrew in that list since they’re not Sherando kids. I also didn’t put Abhinav in that list either, which I’ll explain in a little bit. The people I listed are really just people that I interact with a lot or have interacted with a lot during junior year. (Well, that's a huge list. You know what's funny? I'm not even close to some of those people anymore; also female Andy now goes by Annie, haha. Actually, I never truly was close to some of them. I won't say who's stayed on the list and who hasn't or who has made it onto the list. It was kind of childish to do, but it's interesting to see how things have changed.) 

I don’t really feel like explaining why all of the people listed above are important to me or why I care about them so much, but there’s some that I’d like to explain. For example, I’d like to explain Abhinav. He and I aren’t friends and probably won’t ever be, but he’s very special to me. He’s shown me a different perspective, one that I’m very happy to have discovered through him. He doesn’t know that though. To him, I’m probably just that creeper girl who asks him weird questions. There is truth to that though. I really do want to be his friend, but it’s not going to happen at this point. I initiated conversation far too late and haven’t said anything except for “hey” to him in person. I’d also like to explain Deepak (Tomy) a little bit too. I could probably write pages and pages about him, but I won’t. He’s very special to me also. I’m glad I met him. He’s provided a lot of emotional healing that I needed back in middle school. I feel no embarrassment in saying that he’s a wonderful person. He and Abhinav are two really amazing guys. I’m sad to see them leave Sherando, but it’s time for them to go. I won’t forget how they changed my life. My other friends are pretty self-explanatory if you know me. I would like to mention Casey briefly though. She’s just all around awesome and I’m so lucky to have her. I’ve also become closer to Alley and Taylor, which is very nice. I’ve finally leveled up in the friendship ranks. I’m too lazy to explain my other friends and it is pretty late now anyway; it’s past one in the morning.(AHHHH, so embarrassing. Yes, this is the embarrassing part. Oh well. The guys know I'm crazy anyhow. Honestly though, Deepak and Abhinav are both still important to me. The two of them come up in conversation with Casey and Aarti, but only every now and then. And we're usually laughing at them. If not that, then Casey is pairing Aarti and I off to them. Casey is crazy, but I love her.) 

Future self, how much have you changed? Have you become confident? Have you become a better person to yourself and others? Have you lost your innocent self entirely? Do you still have the same values as you used to? And most importantly, do you still feel the same way about all of the people you interacted with during junior year? Or have your friends changed? (Well junior me, I think I have changed. I'm not really that much more confident than I was a year ago, I'm sure, but it's a work in progress. I think I'm still just as harsh to myself as I was last year. I hope I'm a good person to others. What did you mean by losing your innocent self? o_o You're a weirdo, junior me. I guess I'm still sweet, but I'm very sassy. I'm more outspoken than I've ever been before. I think my values are pretty much the same. Sadly, no, I don't still feel the same way about the people I interacted with during junior year. I've kept all of the people who were/are extremely important to me though. I made a handful of new friends, strengthened old bonds, and even let a few slip away entirely. I can't keep everyone I love/have loved over these past four years. I vaguely remember Deepak and Abhinav's graduation speeches, but I remember how I felt. I have cared as much as I could.)  

I’ll see you in a year, future self. Let’s see how much you grow.(It's actually not a year later, since I wrote this on June 3rd, but close enough! I can't help but question if I've actually grown at all or if I've just become more immature. Guess it's a little bit of both!)

Fawzia Bhatty from junior year 

I kind of want to write a letter to myself about SU, but I think I will wait until after school starts to do that. I think I need to get a feel for it first. Besides, if I start writing that letter now, I'm going to end up blabbing about like two people, and that wouldn't be good. Bye for now!