Hiiiii

Hiiiiiii guys! I felt like writing something. I don't write as frequently as I used to. I was full of things to say back in May for some reason, but not so much anymore. I think that's due to the fact that it's summer and I haven't been in school. Well, sort of.

I'm actually in school. As you all should know by now from all of my lovely complaining, I'm in two math classes. I just finished my last test for my online math class. If I'm lucky, my average will be an 85 and I'll be exempt from my final...but it doesn't look like that's happening. I'm pretty sure I just lost my 4.0 GPA. As for my other class, which is not online, I'm behind. I need to do some heavy work for that class tomorrow. I'm getting an incomplete for the class, but hopefully I'll finish it off with an A of some sort. It'll help balance out my devastating grade that I'll probably be receiving in my online half of Pre-Cal. I guess I deserve the upcoming demotion in GPA since I didn't work hard enough in math. Look at me, I'm being so negative. Well, at least I'm myself.

Besides math, I haven't been up to much. I went to Lauren's house today. Megan came over and we basically just sat on the couch. We really didn't do anything, but it was nice to be with them. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see Casey on Thursday. She's definitely coming over one of these days before school starts. Claire and I are planning a picnic or trying to. I haven't seen Sarah and Brittany, but will hopefully catch them again before school starts. Well, I guess it doesn't matter since I'll be seeing them around. You don't get rid of those two that easily, or rather I won't ever be free of those two. I don't want to be free of them. I'm strangely more creative and imaginative around those two than anyone else. Alley and Taylor, I have a good feeling that I'll see them a couple more times this summer. Kasey fell off the planet, like she does every summer, and magically reappeared so I should be seeing her soon. As for Matthew, Elizabeth, and Paul...well, we always say we're going to see each other over the summer and then we only see each other once. I need to start making some plans to see people. That must have been boring for you to read, sorry for that. Well, at least you know that I'll be making plans and trying to stay busy.

Thanks to the Valcyte I've been taking, my CMV copies have decreased. The initial amount of copies made me laugh because there were so many and now there aren't nearly as many. As much as I hate taking medicine, it's always been a small price for me to pay even though it never feels like it. I wasn't meant to be whatever "normal" is in terms of health.

In other news, I'm close to finishing season three of Merlin. I'm being driven crazy by my peers who are looking at colleges and getting accepted to colleges. I know I should be doing the same, but I don't know if I'm ready to do that. I already know where I'm probably headed. I have to do what's convenient for my father and my siblings, at least for now. When I figure out what I really want, I'll be sure to go for it. That old dream of walking through Johns Hopkins as doctor and not a patient is suddenly drifting back to me, but do I want it that badly? I don't know yet.

Pointless Update

Well, I figured I should let you all know that I'm still alive. I'm feeling much better actually. I was having fevers on and off for almost two weeks along with some other symptoms and minor problems. I guess my will to fight against infection and disease, although weakened, hasn't left me. 

I've been thinking about all sorts of things. My two math classes have been causing me a good amount of worry. Thoughts of college applications make me uneasy and uncomfortable. I don't like thinking about the future because I find that nothing in life is certain. Regardless of that fact, I am forced to think about it and have some idea of what I'm supposed to want. 

Being sick wipes a person out and makes them a little...I'm not sure which word to use here. Yesterday, at Johns Hopkins, I couldn't help but think that the exit signs were bleeding. Is that weird? 

I had so much more that I wanted to say about how I was feeling, but now it's just not important. I'll talk about Merlin instead. I'm really enjoying the show. I'm close to finishing season 2. I love how it's so different from the Arthurian legend I know of. It's like nothing at all is the same. That's an exaggeration of course, but for the most part it's totally different. The way you meet the characters and the way they're presented is very interesting. I like how you get to see the characters change and grow throughout the show. I've become quite a fangirl of the show and I'm not ashamed one bit. 

And now I'm out of things to say. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat my fridge. Later.

Internet's Back!

I finally got Internet access back. Please stay Internet, I need you. I'm so behind in both of my math classes. I'm doing work for my online class right now. Er, well, I guess I'm on break now. I'm still trying to catch up though. I need some kind of motivation. 

Anyway, I have a urinary tract infection. Hurray! Not really. I'm still extremely bitter about having to take one of my medications twice daily as treatment for it. I wouldn't be so bitter about it if the pill was smaller. I'm also sort of going crazy because I become panicky and feel nauseous at the sight or thought of taking my medication. It's nothing new, but it's really pathetic. I'm complaining, I know. I've just been frustrated. I don't like taking more medicine than I have to, which means stuff like Tylenol. I've been having fevers on and off for about a week along with other symptoms that are just as exciting. Again, not really. I really just want to complain, not to any one in particular though. I just want to complain because I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm annoyed at myself for complaining and for being so weak. I'm not making much sense right now, am I? 

On a happier note, I got to hang out with Sarah and Brittany, which honestly was what I needed. Just being around those two puts me at ease...when they're not scheming or being tricksters that is. I hadn't seen either of them since school ended so it was just nice to see them and talk to them. The three of us have a pretty solid friendship, despite not hanging out and talking often. In fact, it's probably one of the strongest friendships I have. Even though we've been separated by time and distance, we're still friends. Although, I do wonder what was going through our minds when we decided that we were all friends...WORLD DOMINATION! That sounds about right. Can you see my craziness now? 

Before I go, I figure I should mention what's up with me and Netflix. I managed to finish Avatar: The Last Airbender. Then I stumbled upon Merlin, a show that Sarah watches and absolutely adores. After watching only two episodes, I've decided that I like it. It's a beautiful show. It's different from the original story, a lot different. That reminds me, I need to read The Once and Future King. (Well, I've read it before, but not all of it. I've read three-fourths of it.) I've been reading 1984 (Nineteen Eighty-four), since I'm supposed. I have to take breaks from it so I can breathe. It's not that I don't like the book, the words just feel suffocating. They don't feel free and soothing like the way I prefer them to be. They don't flow for me. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just weird.

Well, I've taken quite a break, I suppose. Time to get back to working on math. Fun. I just hope I get this done quickly. That will be quite a task since I love procrastinating on anything and everything I possibly can. 

Did you miss me while I was gone?