She drove me home from school today. It was the very first time she's ever driven me anywhere of actual distance. We were talking comfortably on the way back to my house from Walgreens, where we stopped by briefly after the FBLA meeting ended. She told me about her interest in genealogy, said it gave her a sense of importance to document that people once existed, that she'd be visiting graveyards and taking pictures so people could find someone they're searching for. I was telling her that the three of us should hang out over the summer since he'll be home from college with nothing to do. She agreed to that and I know it's because she misses him like I do; he's always been one to genuinely listen for the most part. When she pulled into my driveway, we were talking about the future. We talked for a little while about our respective colleges (VT for her and SU for myself), our financial aid, scholarships, the cost of college, and about leaving high school. She took notice of how the front railing of the porch was taken away and of the slabs of brick laying on top of the dull gray. I told her that my father wanted to eventually sell the house so we could move. We stopped our conversation when my father got home. The green car was waiting a little ways before the driveway, almost as though he meant to park in the driveway and was waiting for her to move. He parked on the side, but she still decided to go then, probably out of embarrassment. I can't remember if I told her to drive safely, something I try to tell all of my friends as though it puts a protective spell over them.
A little while later as I was working on a brown, green, and blue striped bracelet, I thought about what I didn't ask her, what I really wanted to know. Would she miss me? Would she try to stay in touch? I feel ridiculous for wondering, especially after all she and I have been through as friends. Some people would think me silly, but I just don't know what the future holds for us. Just like in the movie 'Stand and Deliver,' you can see the turn, but not the road. I can see the turn for both of us, but I don't see the road. I don't know if the road splits and intersects later or not. I know that I will let her spread her wings and fly, because I had to let him undergo the same process last year. And for being miles away, he didn't leave me like I once assumed he would. He stayed. With all the miles that will separate her and I, I can't help but wonder if she will stay. If they both will stay. Or if I will stay. It could go either way. For right now, I hope the three of us stay, just for a little while longer for my own selfishness.
"I don't wanna lose you now, I'm lookin' right at the other half of me" // "'Cause it's like you're my mirror, my mirror staring back at me" // "'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go" - Mirrors by Justin Timberlake
[While the song lyrics may not be relative to all of this, it played on her car radio. Plus, I like the song. And really, I don't want to lose her now, or him for that matter.]
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