"Is this the place we used to love?"

I have guidance counselor issues... 

I went to Aylor today for the MAT program. Quite honestly, I'm not even sure what MAT is supposed to stand for, probably something easy and simple, but I just don't know. Yeah, so I went back to Aylor, my middle school. My former guidance counselor, Mr. Demorest, is basically in charge of it. It felt strange to be back at Aylor, to see him. 

When I attended Aylor as a student, I thought the world of Mr. Demorest. I admired him and respected him. I liked talking to him back in the day. I felt secure and protected because he was (and still is) such a kind, caring person. He was the one at Aylor that I "fell in love" with. But now, I don't know how to feel since it's been so long. Back in middle school he used to tell me that I need to break out of my shell, that I need to put myself out there. I think I've done that, but seeing him again after such a long time made me want to box myself up. 

I held Mr. Demorest in such high esteem in middle school. I still respect him, but seeing him today really kind of pulled me out of my dream-like trance of reality that I've been able to recreate at Sherando. In middle school, I had always been under the impression that he would always be someone that I could talk to. I wanted to keep his attention forever. I wanted to know that he cared. And although I know he still does, it's not the same anymore. Time has passed. He has other students to care for now. I understand that.  I'm probably going to continue with the MAT program and as a result I'll see Mr. Demorest more often. I don't know how that's going to impact me...

The past... I didn't want to be reminded. Aylor has changed. Mr. Demorest has changed, or so it seems that he has. I've changed. I will not let myself get stuck at Aylor. I moved on. It's not the same place anymore. Once upon a time, it was the place I used to love, but no longer. It's not like Aylor was awful, I just don't want to leave any part of myself there. 

...I've made it sound like the MAT program was horrible, but it wasn't and it's not. I got to interact with some really amazing kids. I enjoyed being with them and I'd like to spend more time with them. I just need to take care to not think about the place I used to know. 

Side Note: Title of post is from a song called Somewhere Only We Know by Keane. 

EDIT: Wow...I'm really angsty. Angst, angst, angst. Eww. I need to not be like this anymore.