Endings

Earlier today (I guess it would be considered to be yesterday, but it's not tomorrow until I go to sleep and wake up), I realized that endings are inevitable. When one chapter closes, another one begins. Of course, I've had this realization before. Back in my junior year, I feared the end of my high school career. I was probably afraid that I'd lose all of my friends, that I'd never see or talk to any of them. When it came time for high school to come to a close, I still felt some sadness because it was ending, but I silently promised myself that I would maintain my friendships. It's been a bit difficult, but I still have my friends. Even though most of us are miles away from each other, we haven't let go of each other. I wonder if we'll get to the point where we will turn away from each other. I know, it's not a happy thought, but won't these friendships I have come to an end? Or am I just being my usual pessimistic self? I can't be the only one who thinks about this kind of stuff...

Anyway, I felt a similar sadness to the one I felt when high school was ending. It's so strange, but I almost want to say that it hurt more. And for me to be able to say that means that I've come a long way since the start of college. A really long way in a short amount of time. There are already people that I don't want to lose, but I'm fearful that I will. I need to give more credit where it's due, I know that. I'm jumping to conclusions too quickly. At the same time though, time isn't indicative of how strong a friendship is though. I've known one of my good friends for around a year and a half or so, and I can't imagine who I'd be today without him. That's how I know that time isn't an indicator.

It's just disappointing to have this realization over and over again. In times like this, forever is a silly concept to me. Sigh. It's too soon to be thinking like this.

People

People are strange. They are never what you expect them to be. I should know that by now. I'm amazed and fascinated with the people around me. I feel so much for them, especially for the ones who are struggling with something. How have they managed to be strong for so long? People think I'm strong, but compared to the people I've met, I feel as though I pale in comparison. 

People hide so much. They keep so much inside. It's just not healthy. I worry for some of the people that I know. What's going to happen to them when they break? I can't let them break. The sad truth is that when some people break, they can never pull themselves back together. I don't want that to happen to anyone. 

I want people to realize that I do care. Yes, I'll admit that I am a nosy person and I'm extremely curious, but I'm not crude and heartless. I don't give good advice, or rather I suck at it. But I'm always willing to listen. It makes me feel good to hear other people talk about what they are dealing with. It puts things into perspective for me. 

I just want to help people. I don't know how I can, but I want to nonetheless. I want people to trust me. I want to be one of the "good guys."