Dragonfly Summer Camp

I've been away from home for days at a time before, but this time was a little bit different...

I went to Dragonfly's summer camp at Camp Fairlee. I technically went as a counselor in training, but I really ended up as just a camper. And to be honest, I still don't really know what I was supposed to have been doing anyway. But I had a wonderful time, one that I won't soon forget, one that I will cherish and hold onto forever.

Sunday was the first day of camp. It was a bit depressing to me. I felt so alone and awkward, even with my friends around me. I couldn't shake the feeling away. I wanted to leave and never come back, and I even considered telling Rhonda or Kathi that, but I didn't. I'm the kind of person that can give you my life story easily, but at the same time I'm also the kind of person that needs time to settle and become comfortable. That was the hardest part for me. When I'm around new people, I need time to show people who I am. It's like Maria said, I did become more confident by the end of camp. I wish I was that way from the beginning, but opening up to new people has never been easy for me.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were all so fun. We did so many things: climbing a rock wall to go ziplining, sailing, going on nature walks, singing and talking at the campfires at night, water games, swimming, arts and crafts, chatting at mealtimes, staying up late talking, having a talent show, dancing, singing camp songs at odd intervals, and a lot more. I didn't get to learn how to sail, but I did ride on a big boat. The late night walk that a select few of us went on was a beautiful night. The stars were shining so bright and brilliantly and each of us were at peace. The campfires were so much fun. I have to admit that the camp songs were really silly, but they grew on me. I never want to forget them now. I didn't go swimming, but I put my feet in pool. I love how so many people got into bracelet making, it made me happy. I only participated in the water fight against the Pocomoke boys. The water obstacle course with the slide seemed like it was fun, but I was sick of water and wanted to stay dry. We shared our stories with each other and learned about our counselors, we teased playfully and laughed wholeheartedly at each other's silliness. I never thought that I'd miss all of the things that we did, but I do.

Thursday morning was a mixed bag of feelings. I've always been the kind of person who changes their mind. I was so sure that I'd be miserable at camp, but I wasn't. I endured through a rough first day and found myself glad to be there. I was standing with Manesh, Kathi, and Nathan, just listening and talking when an opportunity arose or when a question was directed towards me. Manesh asked me if I had enjoyed camp and I said yes. I couldn't meet his eyes or anyone else's so I looked at the ground with a big smile stuck to my face. I asked Manesh and Nathan what they got out of Dragonfly. Manesh talked about how special each of us are and Nathan talked about our bravery. I told them and Kathi that bravery was never a choice for us. We had to be brave. I said that it was because it was all we knew being in the situations that we found ourselves in. When I said that, I didn't really mean myself as much as I did everyone else. I look at Gwen, our Harvard graduate with a PhD and honors, and think of how mature and brilliant she is. I look at Darby and I see how strong her will to live life and enjoy every bit of it is, how determined she is. I look at Coralys, one of Dragonfly's younglings, and I just want to scoop her up in my arms and hug her because she's been through so much for being so young and it doesn't slow her down at all. I look at all of the Dragonfly campers that attended camp this year and I feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. I'm so amazed by how wonderful each of them are and I'm proud of them for everything that they've endured. And I guess I'm also amazed that I'm one of them too.

My heart aches for camp, for my Dragonfly family and friends. I never expected to think so fondly of my experience. I miss it so much. I miss my friends and the fun that we had together. I miss the counselors and their accents. They have some of the most beautiful voices that I've ever heard. It was so entertaining to hear them using different words to describe things (paper towels are kitchen rolls, flashlights are torches, fanny packs are bum bags, pants are underwear, sneakers are trainers, sweaters are jumpers, etc.). I admire all of the counselors so much. They work so incredibly hard and cater to the needs of the campers so well. On Tuesday, when we had our last campfire, I remember saying that I don't think I'll ever be like them. And I'm not sure who it was, my memory fails me, but someone said that I will be able to do the things that they do. At this point in time, I don't know if I'm capable. There is one important thing to be said: the counselors are now a permanent part of Dragonfly's growing family and they always will be, even if we never meet again. I know that everyone else changed the lives of the counselors (I don't include myself because I don't have an impact on people), but the counselors changed our lives too. Everything about them makes me want to be a better person, a stronger person than I am. I hope I can be like them someday.

I liked being away from home and being with people who know what it's like to be me. Most of us take the same medication and have had similar experiences. Even though Gwen (she's a multivisceral organ transplant) and Darby (she's got pulmonary hypertension) are going through different things than the rest of us, I know that they understand what it's like and I hope and would like to say that I understand what it's like for them too. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you've had a transplant or if you've got pulmonary hypertension (or if you're the family member or friend of someone who's had a transplant or has pulmonary hypertension), Dragonfly is a family. And I'm glad to be a part of it.
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"I'm the mermaid of dirt." - Bradley

"...flop around like a dead fish." - Bradley

"Fawzia, your butt's wet!" - Bre
"Shut up, Bre!" - Me
(Later on, Bre tells me that she just wanted everyone to look at my butt. My DHC friends, gotta love 'em.)

"Everywhere we go
people want to know
who we are and where we come from
so we tell them
we're from Dragonfly
mighty mighty Dragonfly
and if they can't hear us, we sing a little louder"
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If you'd like to make a donation of any amount (even the littlest bit counts) to Dragonfly Heart Camp, please follow this link:http://www.dragonflyheartcamp.org/index.html. The donate button is on the right side of the page if you scroll down just a little bit. Thank you for reading and thinking of us.