Change

Change is funny, isn't it? It happens so gradually. People you once knew like the back of your hand become strangers. Strangers become familiar. Families are torn from on the inside, but look perfect on the outside. High school ends, college begins. They move away. Enthusiasm fades out. Promises made. Promises broken. How much has changed in the past few months I wonder?

College is starting soon. The first day of class is in 14 days, two weeks away. I'm living at home, which isn't a bad thing. No, it's not a bad thing. I try to remember that silly story my dad told me. I won't go into the details of the story, but the gist of the story is that things happen for a reason, things happen for the better. I'm clingy, but unsure at the same time. High school seemed easier. I don't want to hate college without giving it a chance, but I don't want to decide to like it beforehand like he did. (In a few years, I wonder if I'll remember who 'he' is. Maybe. Maybe not.) It's funny though because I am just the way she said I was. I reach for people, but pull back if the situation starts to look iffy. I did that to someone already, but I don't feel sorry. That person hasn't noticed so I think it's okay. It's unlikely that I'll see them around campus anyway. Is that wrong? Maybe it is, but I really don't feel sorry. No one got hurt.

I'm legally an adult, but I don't feel like one. My cousins, for the most part, are all adults too. When did we grow up? I miss them. I miss the old days. We've all become so different. The ones who live in NY haven't noticed the change amongst themselves, but I've noticed a little bit of it. Most of it is in regards to how I perceive them though. He's a bit quieter than I remember him, no longer someone that I know. She's outspoken, free and honest, flowing like a river. He's an open book, trusting and trustworthy in return, no longer a quiet mystery. Like buds, each and every last one of them has blossomed into a flower. Such different flowers, some with thorns and others with none.


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Yeah, I'm done for now. Expect something from me again shortly after August 26th. See you then!