WHY?

People think I'm innocent and sweet. Some think I don't know what they really do, but I do. I'm not that stupid. Others have told me of their experiences and habits in such casual tones. And all I really want to know is WHY?

Why is being a drinker and/or a marijuana lover socially accepted? Why is it okay? 

Back in my junior year, I sort of began to not care what people did. At the same time though, I wished nothing more than for them to stop. Now, I'm back at the stance I started out on. I just want people to stop, but I know they won't.

Apparently, it's fun to get drunk and high. I wouldn't know though. I don't care to know. It's not my idea of a fun time.

Why do I sound so worried and/or ticked off? Because people I care about do this crap. I get it, it's fun for them. It's something they like, so they do it. It's a tool for some to get away from people, stress, and real life. I get it. But at the same time, no...I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

Tell me, how am I supposed to react when one of my best friends announces to me that she drinks? What do I say to the guy who's okay with getting high just because he made a promise to a bunch of other people to do so? And what about the girl I've known since forever who does both of these things?

I know, I bet I sound like I'm overreacting. Some people would tell me to mind my own business and let people do what they want to do. Believe me when I say that's what I've done and sometimes it makes me feel disgusted with myself.

A few friends and I have this joke that I'll be their designated driver when we're all 21. It's just a joke that comes up from time to time. It doesn't particularly bother me, but I don't want it to be reality.

Part of me has been saying that if something happens to one of my friends because of their choices, I might be there, but I won't be kind. If something terrible happens to any of them, I want them to know that. Sure, even this part of me would be sad if a friend died because of this stuff, but this side is also saying that they deserved it.

I'll never understand why people will throw away their lives when they have so much potential. There are so many others who deserve to live.

I'm annoyed. I'm worried. I'm angry. I hate this. I'm indifferent about this. I'm overreacting. I don't care. I do care. I'm not making sense.

And yes, if I sound like I don't know anything, it's because I don't.

I'm just...I don't even know.

Let me see how many other friends of mine I'll discover as having this kind of a life.

EDIT: I need to calm down...geez, younger me. People will do what they want to do. 

1984

I guess this is a good time to talk about 1984. I'm not quite in the zone like I was on Friday during English, but I'll still give it a go. On Friday, I realized that I actually like 1984 a lot more than I thought I did. My reason? Discussion. That's it. Discussing the book made me like it more. It's not so much the book itself that I enjoyed, but the message of the book and what the author wanted to say. It might be wrong of me to add this, but the only part of the book I loved was the torture and questioning. That's when I started thinking more in depth.

This is, in my opinion, one of those books that can screw you over really badly. It's scary how many similarities can be found between the book and life today. I don't like that. It bothers me. What if everything I know is a lie? Where is the past but in our own minds? There is no evidence of the past besides documentation, in the form of writing or pictures, and memory. And when documentation is gone, it becomes my memory against another person's. But memory can be altered as well, memory can be tampered with. How can I know anything for sure then?

Mrs. Adams-Legge (my English teacher) said that the book is supposed to make us think. It's supposed to make us question things. I mean, for all I know, 2+2 could equal 5. But maybe I'm thinking too much and just being dramatic. Who knows?

Keith

No, I don't know a person named Keith. I'm talking about the 2008 movie starring Jesse McCartney and Elisabeth Harnois. I watched it on what I considered to be late on Thursday night, but was technically early Friday morning; I didn't sleep until three. I really loved the movie. It was somewhat typical I suppose, but it reached me. It made me cry. Let me tell you a little bit about it. 

The movie is basically about the relationship that develops between this girl named Natalie and this guy named Keith. Natalie is your typical popular intelligent girl that you see in books, TV shows, and other movies. Her supposed goal is to make it into Duke on a tennis scholarship, but it's not really her dream. Now, Keith is very strange. He does what he wants and doesn't live by the rules. He's awfully carefree and he loves his yellow truck. Anyway, Natalie and Keith get paired together in chemistry. Their relationship gradually develops from there. Keith and Natalie end up spending a lot of time together, despite the fact that Natalie has a boyfriend named Rafael. BUT, there's a twist in Natalie and Keith's story. Natalie finds out that Keith is on antidepressants and later finds out that he is dying of cancer. Natalie becomes upset because Keith did not tell her. Of course, they make up and Natalie helps Keith come to terms with leaving. Natalie graduates from high school and it is assumed that Keith has passed away. By the end of the movie, Natalie has become very much like Keith and sets out to fulfill Keith's dream of attending a truck festival. 

One of my favorite scenes in the movie is where Keith and Natalie are laying in the back of his yellow truck at the cliff (Keith's spot), which overlooks "The Brick" (the place where the populars hang out). Natalie notices the truck moving and gets out. She frantically screams at Keith to jump to safety, but Keith isn't listening to her. At the last second, he jumps into the front seat and stops the truck. Natalie gets angry and asks him if he was trying to kill himself. The funny part is that the opening scene shows Natalie in the back of Keith's truck. Towards the end of the movie, it continues the opening scene and Natalie does just as Keith did. She waits until the last second to stop the truck. 

There were a lot of other really nice and/or funny scenes throughout the movie as well. Another one of my favorite scenes was probably the "bowling" scene. Keith picks Natalie up at 4 in the morning and they go "bowling." By "bowling," I mean that Keith convinces Natalie to put bowling balls onto people's lawns and/or porches (can't really remember), including their chemistry teacher. They also go to a diner and end up leaving their two remaining bowling balls, Cosmo and Patsy, with a note saying to take care of them. It's a pretty funny scene, but mostly because of the music. 

Time to be serious! I really enjoyed the movie because of how Keith changes Natalie. The more time Natalie spends with Keith, the more she is set free. And I liked that. The other thing I really liked was that Keith didn't tell her about having cancer. I guess it's an important detail, but it's not like he's obligated to tell her. He just wanted to have fun with his remaining time. 


...I bet most of this doesn't make any sense, which is why you should watch the movie! It's on Netflix! Also, it has a really nice soundtrack. Listen to the soundtrack and maybe it will convince you to watch the movie. 

Labor Day Weekend

I had a fairly nice weekend. I went to my brother's (Rehaan) house on Friday night. Nothing too special happened on Friday night, except for having spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. I spent my Saturday doing nothing of particular interest or fun until the afternoon and the evening. My sister-in-law, Farah, and I watched some Ugly Betty together. Love that show! We met my sister, Aisha, at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner; it was my first time going there. After that, my sister and I went to Macy's where I got my first pair of Levi's; I actually got 3 pairs of high rise Levi's and they feel incredible. On Sunday, we (my dad, my brother, my sister-in-law, my sister, and I) went to ISNA. The bazaar was insane. Muslims are crazy, or rather "Muslims be crazy" (thanks Deepak). I rode the metro for the very first time and it made me think of 5 Centimeters Per Second. Back at my brother's house that night, Farah, Aisha, and I watched Ugly Betty and The Princess Bride. And that takes us to today, which was somewhat fun since I met up with Lauren and Kasey. 

That's my brief explanation of my weekend. It went better than I expected.