Happy

It's funny how quickly we adjust to new environments, how quickly we love the people around us. It feels strange to look back to August because I'm not that lonely, sad, lost individual anymore. That doesn't mean I never feel that way, but I don't feel it as strongly as I once did. If someone would have told me back in August that I'd have so few days of feeling unloved or feeling like I don't belong, I don't know if I would have believed them. But it always works out that way, doesn't it? It's a blessing to feel as loved and as at home as I have felt over the past two months. Everyone says it goes so fast and that you become a family, how is it that they're always right? The first semester is almost over. I'm going to be so bored without them, but I'll survive somehow. I always do.

With the end of this semester not only comes an unforgiving cold with the possibility of snow, but also final exams, which I'm not too thrilled about. The first semester of P1 year hasn't necessarily been terribly difficult, but it has been an adjustment. It's an adjustment because we've had 10 classes, two of which have ended. Eight more finals to go! I haven't started studying yet, still working up to it, but I figure it's okay if I start organizing myself tomorrow. Mondays are for begrudgingly being productive.

I really appreciate and enjoy going to school and living in Richmond. I like it a lot because I live within walking distance of school so I'm at least getting some exercise. Living in a city feels so different from a small town and yet it feels the same. It's different because it's still unfamiliar territory but it's also become home away from home. I don't think that's really the doing of the city though. I think home, as cheesy as it sounds, is wherever love can be found. So really, home is everywhere.

I've reached an interesting point in life where I don't really know where I'm going, where I'm going to be years from now, who I am, or who I'm going to be years from now, but I know that I'm in the right place with the right people at the right time. I am happy, to be here, to love, and be loved in return. That's all for now.

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Side note: here's the link to my realization of belonging in pharmacy school --http://dreamingforpeace.blogspot.com/2017/09/its-funny-how-our-perceptions-can-be-so.html

The Tournament

Yeah, so the tournament at Woodgrove. Mixed feelings about that. Today, seven of the Sherando Academic Team members (Haley, Catherine, Meron, Matthew, Angela, Quinton, and I), in addition to two of our three coaches (Daniel and Mr. Davis), set out to have some fun and practice. It certainly was good practice...my head hurts now.

The seven of us were split into two teams: Varsity and JV. Guess which I was made captain of...yeah, the JV team, which consisted of me, Angela, and Quinton. The three of us played four rounds as opposed to the five rounds that the varsity team (Haley, Catherine, Meron, and Matthew) played. We got murdered in the first match against Loudon's varsity team. We improved in the next match against James Wood, but still lost. (Keep in mind, James Wood was a varsity team as well.) The third match we played was against Loudon's JV team and we beat them. I was proud of us. It was the three of us versus four people and we actually won. It was still a close game though. Then we played against Battlefield in our last match and lost. It was 140-105 to Battlefield. We made it in Quinton's margin of 40 points in losing. Now, Sherando's varsity team won third with James Wood at second and Loudon at first.

I'm happy about today, but I'm also utterly depressed. I was disappointed that I couldn't be on the varsity team for Sherando. I have an extreme inferiority complex so I felt like I wasn't good enough. Losing against three varsity teams as a JV team doesn't help either. We were close against JW and Battlefield, but it's still disappointing.

On the way back, I purposefully put in my headphones and stared out of one of the open windows diagonal from me. I was listening to some Japanese music, some good stuff. That's when my confidence level fell. I know, I'm too dramatic. Daniel, Haley, and Angela tried to get my attention. I was testing myself to see if I would break. Surprisingly, I didn't. When we were very close or pretty much at Sherando, I told Daniel that I noticed. Then there came a question of wondering if I was okay. Yeah, I'm okay, guys...I'm okay. I just wish I was one of those quick learning people that doesn't have to work to an extreme to be good at something.

I had a lot of fun though. I'm at least proud that we were strong enough to hold off Loudon's four member JV team with only three of us.

Sometimes, I wonder if I should even try at all. Will I even get to play in the regular season? I'm guessing that if I do, then it will be sparingly. Time to get used to cheering on the sidelines where I belong. Okay, I'm being annoying...sorry. I did have fun. That should be what's most important, right? After all, the first real match is against JW and that's when we have to bring our 'A' game.

Blue eyes,
Blue skies,
I concede to you. 


EDIT: Why am I so annoying? Ugh, younger me sounds so silly. Get it together, you're not half as bad of a person as you feel you are.