Summer 2017

I haven't blogged since graduation so I guess I'm overdue to say something. (Also, I have two drafts of unfinished blog posts so yeah). Honestly, I don't think I have the words to describe the past couple of months beyond saying how utterly miserable I was for about 75% of the time. I don't mean to downplay the time that I have spent with friends because I really do appreciate their company and their willingness to hang out, but I've always hated summer and this summer in particular has been the most trying ever since the summer leading into my junior year of high school. This summer has gotten better as it's started to come to a close though. The weather is nice right now and I'm trying to take advantage of it before the stifling humidity and heat return by spending as much time with people and doing as many things as I can with the limited energy that I have.

This summer wasn't a completely terrible one, I'll admit that much. Earlier on in the summer, Claire and I went to a lavender farm and to the gardenfest at Belle Grove. I even spent a few hours at her house and got to meet the bottle fed baby goats. That part of summer was peaceful. I caught up with Taylor at Newtown Creamery one night, and she was kind enough to take me home from a weekend visit to see my sister. I've spent a lot of time with Emily, haha. I've stayed over a few nights and eaten yummy food and gotten ice cream more times than I ever have. I blame the ice cream habit on Laurel. (yeah, I call 'em by their first names, fight me lol) Rachel has joined us for our ice cream outings. Movie night actually happened with Cristen and Emily. I finally got to see Rogue One and it's so beautiful and devastating at the same time. I don't think I'll ever get over that movie, especially how perfect and saddening that ending was. Cristen and I are slated to see The Big Sick this weekend, which I'm excited for. I only ever enjoy summer as it comes to an end.

The prospect of this summer ending is a bit scary though. I'm not going back to SU in the fall and I won't even be working at my pharmacy until winter break. Dr. Bly was right about me when he said that I like being in my comfort zone. (okay, I don't call them all by their first names, but I'll get around to it someday lol) I don't like beginnings or endings very much, the middle is a good place to be. I think about my time at SU a lot and how it took me so much time to let go and fall into the person I was going to be throughout college. (it's Brett's fault if anyone was wondering, jk) I don't make friends very easily either and I find that starting fresh is always difficult. Confidence takes forever to build up. For that reason alone, I was so incredibly lucky to have gone to SU. I was timid and quiet during my freshman year. I can't help but wonder if freshman me would ever recognize senior me. SU, like every college, has its downsides, but the most wonderful thing about it is how much you end up growing as a person. I was never confident in myself until my senior year when it became apparent to me that I was capable of more than I ever gave myself credit for, but we know where that confidence has gone now. A lot of my growth as a person is, and this is going to sound super sappy, due to how much love and reassurance I was given at SU. Tough love makes you resilient. But let's be real, I was always treated with the soft kind of love rather than the tough love...usually. By mid-August, though, I'll have to reinvent myself and be comfortable with being uncomfortable for a little while until I fall into place. We'll see how that goes.